Alone In The End ( Taken For Granted)

Thoughout my life I've gone through many things,
I've walked down different paths with many different people and what Ive realized is that in the long run you always end up where you started. Its almost like its choreographed or something. Someone or something new happens,they are the greatest thing that ever happened to you for a few weeks, the excitement dies down, then your right back where you started, alone. Now I know that may seem alittle on the "emo" side but lets think it over for a second. whenever a new oppertunity comes to play in your life your first reaction is to be excited( for most of us we are excited but we tend to hold back with alittle concerned observation.) It then becomes the new "oh my gosh, its so awesome!" stage where we cant stop thinking/talking about it for weeks on end. Then sadly what I've seen happen a lot after that is as soon as we feel comfortable with it, we take it for granted, expecting it to always be there ( or in another words the "Oh my gosh" moment suddenly becomes the "yah, Its pretty cool and all.." moment) and what used to be the main topic of your everyday conversation has shriveled dramaticly to just a pass time chat topic.
As sad as it may seem this happens all the time. I've witnessed it happen to more people than just myself, and you know what im talking about, the "almighty hot and spicy" relationship between two people that has them just dying to embrace and fulfill their most intimate and passionate thoughts/feelings/actions towards eachother that slowly dies into a "yah, I remember those times..." or a "He never says/does that anymore" kind of relationship.
What I mean by that is, the kind of relationship where you've done everything that could ever be done, you've said all there is to say, what was once your favorite traits are now your worst pet peeve, and you have somehow found yourself sick of eachother to the point of where if it came down to you having to look at his or her face again, you'd get manic depressive from the lack of excitment or change. That is what i mean by " the excitement dying down". which brings me to my conclusion of "ending up right back where you started" meaning in the end, you are at block one. you are alone and by yourself looking for some sort of change to happen just as you once did, alone and taken for granted.

The"L" Word

Wow! Its such a pretty thing!
No matter where I go, it always seems to find me!
I appreciate it greatly, I love it like the rain!
such a pretty word, i know this because
its the "L" word!
and the "L" word is love!

My Swamp Monster

My Dear Swamp Monster,



Even though you are homely to the world, you are still pretty to me. Sitting as I, a lonely soul, you examine nature's beauty. A sweet flower in which you've found in even the ugliest of places i know, you still tend to love it as if it were yours, making your heart its' home.
I see in you, your innocence, where your young ways still live strong, and that sweet little flower is me, loyal to you all along. I will forever be your friend,as you to I.
You, my dear swamp monster, I will describe,
a gentle creature at heart and a innocent at mind.

If Time Stood Still

If time stood still, I would hold my lover.
Tell him ill always be there.
If time stood still, I would hug my mother
and show how much I care.
If time stood still, I'd heal my father.
take all of his troubles away forever.
If time stood still, I'd love myself.
Be better than i have been before.
If time stood still, Id forget those filthy liars.
never trustworthy, backstabbers , of course.
If time stood still, id un-do all my mistakes.
give a little more instead of just take.
If time stood still, oh the things that i would chance.
for the better of myself
for the better of this place.

Drowning lessons( the Swamp)

Here I am. Stagnant. Strengthless.

Limply holding on to the only thing my hands would allow of me.

I lay there, half way on the bank, almost lifeless.

I am sinking. the water is rising like my fears.

sucking me in, refusing to lighten its grip.

Should i just let go? This monster will take me anyway.

Tears flood out of my eyes in anger.

The denial almost kills me quicker.

My body is sore. my hands are shaking and im not getting anywhere but underneath.

I am sick of lying to myself. no more denial,

so I let go.

sinking deeper, ive given up.

I will no longer resist.

I willl soon be nothing.

so i wait, letting it devour me like a sick disease.

Its filthy hands slowly pull me under.

No more of this denial.

No more me.

My Long Lost Friend(Time)

Like air, I breathe you in.
Its the closest Ive gotten to perfection for awhile.
I need you like a drug, my cure to lonliness.
A chance left waiting like an open door.
I will not spare a moment.
Step forth my friend, indulge me in your presence.
I've been needing you for quite awhile now.
Hold out your arms and accept me.
Speak to me as if you had everything to say.
Time is not timid, nor should you be.
Tell me of your journeys
where have you been all this time?
Dont answer that, it was intended for me.
Be my book of open pages, dont hide yourself from within.
I promise i will read you without judgement.
My friend you are all I have now.
I will share with you everything.
just as we once did.
No limitations, My personal Journal.
Make me feel alive once more,
Give me the chance to say the things i havent.
like Air i breathe you in.
you are my drug and i have been cured.

Obsession

I want to lose myself;

Lose myself within you

I want to be a part of you

Everlasting perfection.

I want to see through your eyes.

Peice by peice, observance.

I want to look like you

Mirror image, perfect porcelin figure

I want your words

Steal your toungues pleasure,

To say what you say, so meaningful.

Give yourself to me

I must have you

More than you accept of me

I will own you

Before your heart goes cold.

You are mine.