Shattered Dreams And One Last Hope For A Shooting Star

Quietly, I sat upon the river bank where it met the bridge line, the water so deep and dark. I let my hand glide over the surface, trying not to break its unity, but the ripples convincingly tore it away from me once more. How long since I last saw a glimpse of my own reflection?
I guess only the years could answer that.
The river undoubtfully holds so many of my memories that its becoming too murky to look through.
The only reflection I could see was the dark skies looming over it like a slow death waiting in the shadows.
Has it really been that long? Have I really gone amiss with my dreams, so much as to which they've become weak and shattered? The soil beneath my feet poisoned the pigment of my ever white skin. smearing, as the wind slowly hissed around them. atlast, the only thing that lingered was my one last deserate hope to see a shooting star in those ever so gloomy clouds of grey.

Bubbles

This is my emo Bubbles. He is cute and small. Sometimes I feed him nachos but he always wants ham instead. I dont how our friendship came to be except for his lovable obsession with soap and twisty slides, and coloring books with crayons. All are fun when you have a little buddy like bubbles.
one night he got scared so i let him sleep in my room with me. I gave him one of my T-shirts so he could keep warm. im not sure what to do with his hair though, i guess this lil guy kinda has his own little unique style. Either way, he's adorable. I know that I can always find him because where ever he goes, he leaves a trail of bubble soap on the floor. not very easy to clean up may i add.
i have realized that hes taught me a valuable lesson that ill never forget, to be happy with what you have and accept what you dont. I can say that hes very smart because i live by that moral now eachday and seems to make so much sense. Thank you little bubbles!

Hold Me Like Never Before

He lays there, with his head on my shoulder.

sleeping so beautifully, he breathes softly against my skin. I can feel his arms tender embrace. He holds me and the line between him and I becomes blurred.

I am so close to him that I could almost become him. I love it. His heartbeat makes itself known against my chest. I breathe in, he breathes out. So in sync with eachother, its meant to be, I just know it. With his warmth, I will never again go cold. With him, I will never again be uncomplete. He is lost within a dream. dream on sweet one, dream on...and hold me like never before.

Abandoned

Abandoned. I wish these thoughts could be.

replaying in my head like a bad movie. It seems so weird of me to just relax now and again, because instead they linger, haunting me, leaving me tired and weak. I wish I could just get up and leave them, like my body warmth soaked deeply in a chair, but I am too jaded to forgive and too untrusting to forget. I live them, and no matter how much i try to just leave them behind me, they leech. Latching themselves like a needy child without a home. sucking out every last bit of life i have left.

I crawl to the closest thing i can hold on to, but they always somehow manage to pull me back. Twice as fast. Twice as strong.

I end up face down asking myself if its really nessasary to get back up again.

There honestly is no way to escape and theres no where i can hide. So I just lay there waiting for the next thought to come and steal the air right out of my mouth and replace it with dirt. Abandoned. I wish these thoughts could be.

John B. ( my favorite Drum And Bass artists EVER!!!!)

Over the past half year, i was introduced to the exhilarating world of Drum And Bass.... and ever since ive been absolutly in love with it. I normally would listen to "mainstream" music, like Screamo,Alternative,Rock and Death Metal, and i never really took the time to look up anything underground.( i've come to find that most underground is way better than any mainstream ive ever heard!) anyway, as i was being taught about this genre and coached in Djaying, i had been showed this awesome artist named John B, in consideration that i might enjoy his rock-ish taste! ( top right: John B. licking a cd he had named after his song "Russian Girls") I have been listening to his mixes and really studying his style in hopes that maybe I could be influenced by his work and someday Dj or create a mix similar to his style. I really have respect for him. He has played at Pirate Station and all the big events. my favorite songs are "Stalking You On Myspace" and "Red Sky". They both have a very nice amen break and a sweet bass line. He not only does Drum and Bass but also Trance,Electro, and punkrock! wow! talk about multi-tasked! look him up on youtube... im sure you will appreciate just as much as I do! and also check out his site http://www.john-b.com/

i love John B!
Junglist massive!

picture from: http://www.john-b.com/

"I Will Stay" He said.

I looked at him once last time before my eyes rivered in tears.
I couldnt hold them back any longer. warm fat tears came streaming out like an angry waterfall.
I stood there frozen in his grasp.
"I am so sorry, I can not live without you, please don't leave, I dont know what id do without you, Im so sorry, please dont lea --..."

"Shhhh." he held me close, hushing me softly.
I pulled him in towards me, closer than ever before, so afraid to let go.
I obeyed his wish, quieting my tears into his arms that were tightly secured around me.
" please tell me you will stay....." I said as I felt his heartbeat against my cheek.
He took his hand and slowly raised my head up to his lips, kissing me gently.

He too began to cry just alittle as he looked into my eyes and said, "For the sun in my heart will never shine so brightly without your love and the stars in my eyes will never again glisten without your touch. You are my life and my soul and without you, I too, am lifeless and dull.". His eyes passionately fixated, he softly leaned his forehead on mine and slowly whispered," I will stay, my love. I will stay."

He loves Me, He loves me not

For such a handsome being as him to lay upon my bed is breathtaking. so beautiful in his form. I watch him as he dreams. Does he dream of me? I'll never know. Beside him is a rose I left, to ensure him he will forever be mine. but I wonder if it will mean anything to him, anything at all. I dare not awake him. I linger at the bed side just observing him once more. Oh how remarkably beautiful he is! The mornings light shines through the window pane kissing his face as it illuminates his every feature. When he awakes i will know. He loves me, He loves me not.