Find Me

Find me, because I can not find myself. You seem to have known me better all these years.

please, discover you need me. Dont let me become just a memory. you always said I was better than this.

and when you do find me, hold on to me for dear life. Promise me you will never let go.

I want to know im needed. charish me as if this is the last time you will ever see me again.

Find me,because I am nothing without you.

Sinking a Ship (That Was Barely Sailing)

My life is an ocean. Never steady.The waves, my relationships, each stronger than the last.

And then theres me, the ship.

I have aboard my love.

I once knew where I was headed, but lost the sun.

I have yet to set my sails again.

But the truth of possibly never seeing dock again hit hard.

Such a deep reflection to sink in.

Intention like a compass but the blue prints were knowingly not built strong enough.

And one day when that tsunami hits me, I wish to reel in my anchor and let it take me.

No fear, No regret.

But, every sailor knows the waves are notorious for being misleading.

 Sea creatures linger beneath.Waiting to latch on and pull me under.

Structure still decrepit but the hopes stay steadfast.

The only thing that keeps me afloat at times.

watching for that sun to show itself again.

I think i find it, but then see it is nothing but a fog light. I wished it wouldve lead me to that tsunami, but it was a whirlpool instead. It is strong and angry, throwing me around disasterously. I then discover my last remains. A sinking ship that was barely sailing.

Spirit (Seeker)

As I've aged, many have asked me when I think it will be that we will rise once again and  return "home" also to hear that sweet music of  perfection that will be shed upon our ears. I pitty for I can never answer them undoubtfully and I am not knowledged of any "home". To ask of me that would be equivalent to asking when the moon will fall or when the Earth will stand still. Not a single answer comes to mind without the words " I do not know" occupying them. I too want to know these answers but question thier logicality.
Is it right of me? Do I know but subconsiously keep them hidden until time reveals them?
still and yet sadly, I ponder. Puzzled at such a thought. The only thing I have come along in my years have been the lessons that life has taught me, my history and my present, strugglement and success but still no answer of my future beyond my reach. Does it lay upon the stars? Is it a destiny that I havent yet crossed? Does it twirl between the fingers of Greenman and Luna?  Does it even exsist? I question and still no answer. I know what my heart believes and I know what my mind understands but still none of which my soul answers. Is this too much or too little of me to ever figure? I'm sure I wont know for a very long time, if ever, or atleast until proven otherwise.

Intertwined

Today, we intertwined.

Our souls were one.

His arms around me in a secure embrace, we slept.

His cheek lay upon my chest, my heartbeats his lullaby.

Soft and still his skin, filling in my every curve. Breaths unite us.

so confident he surrounded me.

wrapped around me like a protecter.

His sweet dreamers' smile shown through. At that very moment, We were no longer individual. The peace and love in which we slept, amalgamated us. We felt such tranquility and wholeness as we were.

Never thought I to be in such a astonishing happening.

I felt as if the word "I" were no longer nessassary and that it should be replaced with "we" eternally and so on.

My heart is his, my blood and veins we share, my eyes we look through and my love is ours.

And still, even as his presence (that at this moment I am without),we are and forever will be..one.

World Of Mine

World of mine

you have failed me.

Left me broken and battered.

Am I not what you wanted?

Do I not meet your needs?

You, my world, were suppost to be everything I envisioned.

seems to me it can only be a dream.

I need you and you are nowhere to be found.

I can not find you so ive given up.

Am I not strong enough?

Am I not what you seek for?

World of mine

Am I only but allowed one mere moment of happiness

 before it is stolen once more?

Do I deter you from giving me a chance?

Need i hunger so much more that it kills me?

World of mine

What do you want of me?

what must I give up?

Do you want me beaten and battered

before I recieve what I've asked of you?

How much more shall I take before losing it all completely?

Please. Enlighten me.

Before its too late.

 World of mine

you have failed me.

Alone( Dead Like Winter)

Inside, I feel alone.
Deserted. Bereft. Left behind. I want so badly to hold on to someone but I am afraid they'd just fall right through me. I am seperated and in need. I reach out like a child would to its mother in desperate times, but only cold responds. I cry, not knowing what has happened but only what i feel. In yearning for that comforting hug, I wait, soon to realize I am the only one there. Tired eyes become home to quiet tears. Quiet like dead winter. I just want to have someone hold me,caress me close, rocking me slowly like a sleepy infant, hushing my cries sweetly. I want to feel the warmth of someone and finally feel like i have somewhat of a grip. I want to feel confident enough that as soon as i fall asleep, it wont just slip away from me forever. Upon that sleep I want to stay, where someones' gentle-sweet but assuring voice soothes me honestly, comfirming its presence and promise to never leave me. I want it to break this feeling of forlorn and deprivity before The Cloaked One comes.  Leaving me alone and dead...dead like winter.

Ever So Alive

Past your stare I see so much more. Through my soul I wish it would stay. I have gone too long without it, and everyone knows,so much as a touch could kill you or so they say. Such a powerful thing knows not of choice but only of destiny.To live or destroy it commands. Is it I whom it must contain itself within or has it not room to spare another chance? Mother earth knows far more than we can ever speak and she holds the last decision in the end. To hope and want, as much as i do, would be like a dream too easy to understand.
So, look at me once more. let me see past the stare of your eyes. Give me the thing ive hoped for all along.
And let your love make me feel ever so alive.