KEANE Bedshaped http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b61EeXnwpLA&feature=fvw

The true Hide And Seek

Love.

The Perfect Day 12/21/10

Today has been like no other day i had before.(well,It started off kinda dreadful but......it got better as it went on).Anyways like i was saying, today was a miracle in the making.I slept in and when i woke up, i got to open a fresh gallon of milk(always a plus!!! i love milk!)
then i got on FruityLoops Studio 9 (a music making program on my computer)and made an awesome Trance song called "Everlastin" ( yes... i know it has no G. it was the way i intended it to be). continuing on, i got dressed and actually looked somewhat fabulous. Normally, something will be messed up in someway, whether it's my hair, weight or clothes. but no, not today, everything seemed perfect. afterwards my grandmother hooked me up with my first credit card. quite awesome, right!!! then we went to Olive Garden where we had a very cute waiter..*smiles* he gave us extra mints!! yay! When i got home i cleaned up my whole room and my lover called asking if he could come over today(which was also very nice because neither of us expected to be able to see each other today due to business with chores and holiday stuff). so he came over right as i got done with my room. He's always had perfect timing!! he had played a little prank on me involving a flaming incense stick(that oddly looked just like the one i randomly decided to use today for nice effects). i thought it quite clever but i know I'll never live it down the way i reacted. *embarrassed shrug*. he had brought over some bead kits which we made lizard key chains(so awesome because we rarely- to -never have anything in common that we can do). It caused us to bond in a way i never thought possible. we laughed and shared interesting conversation topics. My grandmother made the perfect dinner of breaded chicken and vegetable lasagna. ( it tasted SO good).We watched "A Bug's Life" and snuggled until it was over. like i said, today was by far the most perfect day I've ever had.... and I'm sure there will be more to come.

something funny

so my grandmother and i were in target returning some trash bags that were the wrong size gallon. we returned them,walked around, got stuff and went to ring it up. so the cashier(whom i will not name for privacy reasons)is talking to himself. He seems really happy and giggly. i asked him who/ what he was talking to. so he smiled and said"oh just talking to myself." he laughed and i replied with "Yah i do that too sometimes." so my grandmother was looking for the card she uses normally for target and she asked me. " hey you wheres the card i just got?" "help me find it." she said followed by some jokes about how much she hates spongebob.I was wearing spongebob pajama pants and t shirt. ( dont ask me, it felt like one of those days). so he was like "What?! spongebob is amazing!" my grandmother still joking about how its an inatimate object and how sponges dont actually live and talk abd breathe.So the cashier and i were both like "aww...what?" and favoring spongebob right, i said " Spongebob is The Bomb digadee!he agreed with me multiple times. she was comparing him to Barney The Dinosaur. both the cashier and i were like " no you did not just compare barney and spongebob!!" laughing as we discussed our great likeing for the bob that is a sponge.she said " yah every time we get in the car she starts singin the damn song until i finish it and if i dont she keeps singing it over and over again" the cashier laughed a hearty laugh. all the sudden my grandma says the most hilarious epic thing ever....ready?? she goes " well atleast dinosaurs are real unlike sponges!" the ladies behind us in line looking like thier trying not to crack up in laughter. so finally one of the ladies said " what did she say, dinosaurs are real??" we all started laughing histerically. we couldn't stop long enough to breathe for air. so the lady asked my grandmother " so dinosaurs are real?" and my grandmother replied with " Yah Thier just in hiding" then the whole Target starts laughing. i put our stuff in the cart and the lady smiles and says "well you just keep singing". we smiled and left while i sang "ooooh who lives in a pineapple under the sea?".i could hear them laughing as we walked out. we found the car in the parking lot and put our stuff away. we were driving off to go home and i couldnt help but just laugh like crazy from what had just happened. so she says "well why do you think the japanese made those movies? for no reason?" and i replied " yes." simply giggling.
so se said yah. their hiding in the forest and the japanese fought them off with sticks ( were talking Dionsaurs here!)i just kept laughing and laughing. we got home and she went into the backyard and i was like " Hey did ya find any dinosaurs back there? do i need to sharpen some sticks or should i ask the japanese?!" from that point on it was no turning back for air. ohhh, this was by far the best day ever!!!

Walking Along Side Someone Taking A Stroll Down Memory Lane (Downtown Phx)

I cant help but sit here on my picnic table looking at the sunset in my back yard thinking about today and how it has been very meaningful. If you recall this mornings blog, i wrote about how  bad I've been feeling lately. well today has totally changed me. This morning i sat down with my grandmother(the angel that she is) and i talked to her about everything and how its been affecting me lately. she listened to me and sad " Hailey, girl, you need to start thinking about yourself and how you are going to prepare for your life ahead of you." she said. " you are an amazing person and yet you've seemed to let people swallow you up and take away who you are inside." she told me soverignly. " have you noticed that everywhere you go people have their own space whether it be a work desk, a school chair, a bedroom etc. ?" she asked me. " you need to make your own little personal space and start appreciating yourself more. let yourself be Hailey." Those words i will never forget. She got up and told me we were "going somewhere." Now, when an adult says those words, normally a child would figure he/she was in trouble, but something in her voice sounded determined. she asked me to put on my "walking shoes", so i knew this was going to be a long journey. Either that or she thought i needed a hellish amount of  cardio. we got into the car(ironic right) and headed off. she never told me where we were going so i was half excited and half scared. we pulled up at a place called La pinata. ( id type the little ~ line above the "n" but I'm not sure how. *laughs*)turns out it was an old Mexican restaurant that my grandmother was taken to for a date a few odd years back by her fiance of the time. she had decided to take me there to kind of show me her life events and how she enjoyed them. she had told me it was a tradition & that her and my uncle would go every so often. let me tell you, the salsa was phenomenal!
After we had been seated we somehow came about a conversation about a relationship she had been in and what it was to her. I listened and thought about it as she spoke, often asking questions about how she lived and how she began her big life and what was going on at that time in her relationship.
i was a little saddened by the " wow, how things have changed since then" tone in her voice. but every so often i would catch an arm of a smile making its way across her face as she talked about her high school days and going to the state fair with her fiance and all the fun things they shared together as they grew up. she talked about being in a band and making music with her fiance and his friends and how much fun that was. She was getting a point to me about how you can have fun and be yourself at the same time. i took it to heart and cherished her tales of sweet things. after we ate she took me to Enchanto Park, a place i remember going to as a kid with my mother and grandma when times often got too stressful.
 we walked the whole park and she talked about how important it was to be myself and make time to fine tune myself as well. she explained how i needed to focus on what means the most to me and how i could achieve great things in my future like a job i might want, a house i might like and a car i would love to drive. ( i love cars! *smiles*  ) the thing i like the most about my grandma is she is and always has been here for me through thick and thin. whenever i needed her ( and even when i didn't), i could/can always count on her being there.
i love talking to her because she really has a way of hitting home and really getting through to me important things without being biased. i love her for that. Having said that, she secretly decided that she was going to buy tickets and make me ride the carousel at the Enchanto Park. *i swear shes got a mean streak in there somewhere* (Laughs really hard.) lol can you imagine a sixteen year old riding a kiddy horse on a carousel full of 3 year olds? ha-ha the fathers were all talking amongst themselves and laughing at me. well at least i could make someone smile through my humiliation. In a weird way I'm glad she made me do it because it kinda brought the whole " have fun and stop worrying about what people think of you" factor back to life. I have always been an independent, strong, creative and freaky person to begin with but sometimes i need the little ego booster to remind me every once in a while to be proud of it.
it was funny afterwards because my grandma decided she wanted to go on the train before the place had closed up for the day. so here she was getting herself into this little train seat just waiting for me to sit down. she made me laugh while she cracked jokes about how the train was lop sided after she sat down( which it wasn't). we laughed about how she used to take my uncle there and they'd always have to stop the rides for him because he'd always get scared and try to crawl out the sides.  lol. let me remind you, her and i kinda have a crude sense of humor. *grins*. we got off the ride laughing and we headed for the car. we took off  driving through central phx. we went down Roosevelt, and Van Buren, and McKinley as she told me about all the different things she did and how she was going about her life then as a newly wed.we stopped by old apartments she lived in and we drove through neighborhoods as we looked at houses with vines and such. she showed me all the haunted houses she knew of around there. he-he we saw a cross dresser as we drove down Van Buren. it was quite a sight to see. He was really working some high heels and skinny jeans, man! I thought proudly of him though. i always have the upmost respect for people like that because, like myself, they aren't afraid to show who they really are.
After all that we went to Dairy Queen and got ourselves ice cream as a nice treat for all the walking we did today. To end a perfect day, we came home and i thanked her while  hugging her and i gave her a kiss on her forehead and let her know just how much she means to me and how she turned my whole day around just by spending it with me. i have to say that I really loved today and all the experiences i got to have. it is by far the most meaningful day of my life...especially because i shared it with my best friend, my grandma.

- Me

Rain That I wished would stay

It began to rain outside which was something i hadn't seen nor felt for a long time. I was with my love at the time so i said," come with me and feel the rain"

I stripped down to my undershirt and a pair of shorts and ran outside to hard falling rain pushed by big gusts of wind. I stood there putting my arms in the air, face tilted up towards the sky letting it hit my face. I then felt his hands behind me as they glided down my arms and wrapped around my waist. He turned me around and kissed me romantically. Raindrops fell on our faces but never parted our kiss. It was perfect the way it was. so sweet and tender of a kiss repeatedly giving each others lips a place to rest. I layed my head on his shoulder watching the water roll off his face and bead its way down his neck meeting the collar of his shirt.He held me close and tight, just the way i love and we continued to feel the rain we wished would stay.

So Close To Perfection( I Can Almost Be It)

Today, I rested upon him. The room lit so perfectly as the shadows kissed his face.
Hands layed gently across his chest.
This feeling I had I will never forget. His warm, smooth skin against my palms-
repeatedly moving softly as he breathed. My fingertips nestled themselves in between his breast so calm.
The most beautiful of all was his heartbeat, making itself known beneath my touch. So rhythmic and alive. At this moment, I wanted nothing more than to breathe him into me as if he were air.
To become him permanently.I wanted to be as close as I could ever be. Feeling so, I moved my hand over his left breast and felt the only thing keeping him alive. It felt as though i was holding his heart in my hands.I then closed my eyes, took a deep breath pushing closer to him, and let myself believe i was him. kissing and breathing in sync with him as if his lungs were my own. His warmth became mine. I realized at that moment what it truly felt to be so close to perfection I could almost be it.